The Maurderer's Fangirls and uh Snape's Fangirl
by Helena Valentine
Summary: Poor Lupin, he has no one. Everyone hates the werewolf. I mean, who:'writer says in obvious duh kind of voice 'besides Tonks':would be insane enough to love him, he thought. But wait, what's with all these muggle girls... and that's just chapter 1!
1. Chapter 1

Writer: Ok, this is a really insane story my head just spat up one day.

Little Voice: nice verbal imagery.

Disclaimer: Helena Valentine does not and never will own any of the things in this story except the story itself. She doesn't even own the fangirls. These people actually exist, and might be reading this...(or writing)

Remus Lupin sadly sighed into the cool night, his breath rising in a cloud and then slowly evaporating into the air. He looked up at the silver slicker of the moon in the sky. The moon was something he normally refrained from looking at, it always made a sick feeling come to his stomach. But right now he actually enjoyed the view for a while. He liked the moon when it was like this, only a sliver in the sky like a reflection on a sickle placed at an angle in the darkness.

Purple mittens quite suddenly came down over his eyes. He let out another sigh, meaning for this one to sound exhasperated, but couldn't help the slight smile to flash quickly at the corners of his mouth.

"Nymphadora, these are not really times to be doing things like that. I could have easily mistook you for a Death Eater trying to cover my eyes so I would be temperarily weakened, and then of course I would have fought and might have hurt you or made you fall again."

"First of all, I thought the gloves would give you at least a little bit of a tip off. Second of all, like you could have jinxed me. And third of all, I tripped and it just happened to be over your feet. So it isn't technically you making me trip. Wouldn't have hurt as much if you didn't have such big feet though." She said. He could literally hear the smile in her voice.

"Don't you DARE call my Remmy's feet big!!!!!"

The couple were quite rudely interupted by a very american, very hyper, and very sudden fangirl standing in front of the path.

Both Lupin and Tonks quickly reached down and gripped quickly at their wands, turning incredualisly to the girl behind them.

"You're Remmy!!!! Your Remmy!!!! Na-uh girlfriend! He is sooooo my Remus." another voice joined the other, and another girl came up and quickly picked up a wand like stick on the ground. She pointed it in the direction of the other fangirl and yelled "Expeliamous!" at the top of her lungs.

Nothing happened.

"Don't be an idiot. Just because we're in the Harry Potter World doesn't mean that just any stick will be a wand." A girl said dully from behind. Everyone turned to find a very pale faced girl dressed entirely in black with dyed black hair and lips and eyeliner glaring at everyone.

"What are you doing here? And why aren't you fighting for you undying love over Remmy?" The first fangirl said.

"I'm not a Remus Lupin fan. I'm a Snape fan." The goth girl said dully. She grinned evily at the last part, and licked her hand and ran it over her nose so it was shiny.

"EwWwwWWWWwwWwWWW!" the second fangirl said, running over to Remus and hiding behind him. "Protect me my love!"

"What????!!!!" Remus said, aghast.

"What????!!!!" Tonks said, aghast.

But the insane conversation was cut short by what sounded like a thousand tom tom drums all being pounded on at once. A swarm of girls suddenly came around the corner, each one stepping in place. Some where carrying signs with crossed out full moons on them, other's with huge crying David Thewlis on them with little stick on mauraurderers. A few other signs had cut outs from Harry Potter posters and the books of Remus Lupin and their own faces stuck next to his.

"Remmy!" they cried at once.

The crowd of fan girls moved as one towards Lupin and Tonks standing helpless against such a vast crowd. Suddenly one of the fangirls in front, who looked like the leader, stopped and pointed at Tonks with a look of upmost rage on her face. "It's HER!!!!!"

And the fangirls turned their fiery eyes on Tonks, and the signs they were holding all turned in their hands and suddenly they all said things like "Death to the Pink Haired One!" and "Tonks Who???" along with several other things. Pictures of the actress who's going to play Tonks who the writer can't remember her name were posted crudely on, the paper ripped at the neck with magic marker blood drawn dripping from her paper-print-out self.

Tonks and Lupin both gulped, and then Lupin quickly grabbed Tonks by the arm and began to pull her away slowly, both of them backing away from the mob of over five thousand.

"GET HER!!!" they yelled as one. All except the goth Snape fan, who stood there snearing and watching all the mayhem over one poor aparently not unwanted werewolf.

"Why are they after me now? I thought they were after you?" Tonks panted as they ran.

"No they aren't, they're after that man on those unmoving photographs!" Remus said back.

Tonks turned quickly and took a glance at one sign that a girl was waving so much it showed both the front and the back, so she was able to see the creepily unmoving photograph of David Thewlis.

She turned back to Lupin. "I think that's supposed to be you!" she said.

Lupin looked back as well and looked taken aback as he turned back around, rubbing his lip as though feeling to make sure he didn't have a mustach.

"That doesn't look a thing like me!" he said.

"Well that girl looks like me, so keep running!"

Their lungs aching, Remus and Tonks ran forever away from the crazy fangirls. The end.

Writer: ok, that was insane. I don't know how I thought that up. Almost as crazy as that YYH one I wrote with Hiei... no one here knows what I'm talking about though. Anyhow, that was it. Review please. Sorry for my constant spelling mistakes.


	2. Chapter 2

Writer: Sorry if I offend anyone! Just pulling names out at random here...

Disclaimer: do I act/write/seem/think -it's -possible -for -me -to-own Harry Potter?

They were catching up.

Lupin turned desperately to face the rushing fangirls as he ran, hand in hand with Tonks. His feet ached in the soles from pounding them against the pavement, and his breath was coming quickly in short stabs to him chest.

"This isn't working!" Cried Tonks.

Suddenly, Lupin had a brilliant idea! A moment too late though, as they suddenly rounded a corner and found themselves face to face with- a brick wall.

They gripped each other's hands, backing up against the wall, turning to look at a thousand evil smiles with perfect white teeth they brushed twice a day!

"Ready girls?!" One fangirl yelled, raising an arm.

"All right!" Almost everyone yelled.

"Never." Muttered Snape's fangirl.

The girls, in perfect unison, joined hands, facing Tonks and Lupin cowering in the corner.

"Release the OCs!" the leader shouted to the great England (rainy) sky above them all.

No one was prepared for what happened next. Especially not JK Rowling.

Out of each girl's head, a beautiful tiny woman leapt out. Each one had breathtakingly beautiful skin that seemed to shine like the great moon above, some with honey colored hair that draped down to their wastes, which were perfectly thin and curved. They all had great huge anime eyes staring lovingly up at the world, and seemed to show more wisdom in merely standing there then anyone in the world! Some had ears that were purple, and stretched out like dog's ears, or in this case, wolf's ears, as they all prepared to join their Moony in galloping through the forest.

The fangirls all shouted their OC's names, Arisa, Bethamy, Crystal, Diamonds, Everlas, Fiona, Gwenovere, Helena, Icemoon, Josophina, Kalidascope, Lala, Mimi, Niomi, Oma, Princess, Queeny, Rebeca, Sparkle, Tinkerbelle, Ursula, Valentine, Wawa, Xylophone, Yaomi, and Zeala!

Lupin fell over and clutched his head as a wave of memories that weren't his rushed to his mind, memories of almost kissing a thousand girls, of incredibly passionate and R rated nights, of cooking and all around being hot, of being set up with and then making out with Sirius, of denying uncontrollable feelings of lusty love towards some wolf eared girl, of living the rest of his life with an OC and marrying her because they created life on one single night of uncontrollable passion and they probably had girls or twins and they children had supernatural powers like their mother and had the curse of their father, but it was still the most terrifying and painful experience of his life to see the woman in so much pain, and she was hurt but survived, or maybe she died tragically during childbirth. Lupin felt the story of his life he had been living in slip away as every freaking god damn moment was devoted to a star eyed beautiful OC, or Sirius.

"Go bring Sirius back from the dead and set him up with Lupin!" some of the fangirls yelled, and their OCs ran and flew and aperated off.

"Get Tonks!" the rest of the fangirls shouted.

"Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tonks yelled as she was buried in fangirls, while Lupin still screamed from the intensity of the unknown memories in his mind.

They never stood a chance.

Writer: Ok, I just wrote this because it randomly popped into my head. None of it is based off of any specific story, it's actually based off of thousands of different stories. Flame me if you want, but I shall never burn.

Huh. Well, that sounded impressive. Anyhow, please review!


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